Does any of this make sence?

Lately I have found myself not in a good mood. I dont really have the ambition to do anything. Sicne thursday I have not wanted to go out anywhere for the most part, and thursday and friday I found myself fealing really lonely. I dont really know why. Things are much easier when I no the source of my problems, because then I can take steps to fix it, or something. I dont no, in a way lately I have been getitng happy, and that scares me. For the past 6 months or so whenever I started to get truly happy again something else would happen to bring it all crashign down. Maybe I am just unconsciously tryign to protect myself from that? I really wish I new. Nothing has realyl happened lately to make me upset, so it all is just very confusing for me. I really wish I new...

Right now I am sitting here adn that lonely fealign is here again. Maybe I just need to get out, but for the most part know one is ever realyl available. *shrugs* In some ways I am tired of things... I sometiems feal that if I didnt ask people to hang out I would never hang out with anyone. Besides John, no one ever just calls me or whatever and asks if I want to go out anyplace. I realy dont no what to think anymore. Maybe I am complaining because I am tired or because I am upset (only if I new what I was upset about)... I just dont no....
Anyway, I guess I shall stop this here... It is really goign no place. So Good day!
Scott

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