Sunday, October 26, 2003
Well I havent had a long winded post in awhile so here I go... maybe! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
Lately I have been fealing down, for many reasons. I havent been sleeping well, which causes me to feal down, and fealing down is a reason for me not sleeping well. But I odnt no which came first. Anyway, I am the type of person that plans out alot of things in my mind. Never huge things do I plan out, but say I get someone a gift, something like flowers (taken from what I got someone yesterday) and I have a tendency to walk through my head how I intend to give someone these flowers. Once I get a plan worked out in my mind, and I revice it over and over and that is what I have my mind set on doing, and it dosent happen... Then I have a tendency to get into a depressed mood. Maybe cranky is more the word. I then have a very hard time pulling myself out of these moods. This happened yesterday, and I feal bad for it becasue I ruined the time for those around me becsaue of my bad mood. I just have to learn that things cant always go how I plan, when I do plan something. And lately things never go anywhere remotly how I plan them. THey actually go the exact opposuite. This week it has happened twice, but one of the times I wasm ore than justified to be in a very bad mood and be mad at the other party involved. I wont get into that though, because even though the strife in my life might be entertaining for one or two people it will jut bother me again and maybe make me write some things I dont mean. THe party involved and I have talked about it (kinda) and... Well I dont think we came to any conclusion... Enough of that though.
So lately I have had the itch to get out of my house, and all my attempts have been proven frivilous. I guess I am getting tired of the same routine I have of going to school, work, and spending the rest of my time coped up in my house.
Awhile back that routine wwouldnt of bothered me, but someone whom I care about immensly informed me that she didnt like it. Since I care for her so deeply, i decided to make that minor change in my life. That is something I will do, if there is something minor about me I can change I will mak the attempt to change it in order to accomodate a friend. Going out places instead of being in my house is a very easy change to make, so I made it. THe problem comes where she hasnt realized the change, even though I have been givign suggesions for other thigns to do. When we hang out, it is automatically assumed that we will just hang around my place and watch a movie. Dont get me wrong, I like to do this with her, the only thing I need to see is a smile and I am happy, but right now I would like to get out of the house. Maybe it has just been a bad few weeks for it, which is possible so I dont blame anyone for it. If I had anyone to blame it be myself for not saying what I wanted to do for more than a bried instant. I dont no!
I dont no where I was originally heading with all of this... Lets see what I have talked about... Me geting cranky when my plans dont go through.... changes I make for others.... Needing a change of routine... What else is there to talk about in my life? Hrmmm
There comes a time in a relationship where one has to learn to let go... For me this is very hard to do, I get very attached to people once i allow myself to. This is now somethign i have to do. I have to let it go, for better or for worse. I keep telling myself this, but I dont seem to be doing it. For me I think I got used to having that person to turn to whenever I needed a hug, or a reassurign smile. I have never been a person with alot of confidence when it comes to woman, frankly I have little to know confidence. Being with someone that I find absolutly adorable, and whom I love to spend time with just gives me that littel boost I always need. It makes me happy in ways most people will have trouble understand. I really dont no how to describe it. ::sigh::
ENough of this ranting about my fealing... Its time to rant about somethign in the world!!!
We are having all of this trouble in Iraq, more peopkle are dieing after the 'war' than during the war. In my opinion the Iraqie people started to openly rebel far to quickly for it to truly be all iraqie's. Think about it, if everyone in a country has always been under a goverment that killed you if you spole against it, how would they be revoltign the day we, as american's, 'won' the war? Groups of people from another country (Iran IMO) slipped in there and are really causing all the conflict. Well at least are the main instagators in it. It would not surprise me at all if we have some sort of military action going on in Iran in the near future (that is if we dont now), but it would be covert. This is what I think we should do. We should have one big statement for the world. This statement should be two words that are rather common in the english language. These two words are FUCK YOU! Now after we say this we should pull our forces out of the middle east. Maybe leave a few bases on the outskirts of countries just incase someone attacks us on our homefront. After we do this we should let them fend for themselves. They have been fighting for thousands of years so we might as well let those religious nuts all kill each other! Or if we really want to be the tyrants that these people think we are, we should just drop a few nukes on them. In the long run this will kill us also, but it is only a matter of time before some terrorist group does it to us. (Yes this is what I think is bound to happen). We could even drop one of those bombs that kill everyone, but leave the cities fully intact. Then we can at least find a use for the land.
Another thing in the world news that I find funny. Israel is buildign a huge fence to stop 'terrorists' from coming into there country so easily. I applaud them for this. I know alot of people tend to blame israel for alot of things, in my opinon they arent all there is to blame. We as Americas have lived a VERY safe life, while everyone in israel dont. If you had people constantly tryign to kill you, then you would also react in similar ways. I know Israel wasnt only there, and has only been an establised country for 50 some odd years. I also know that without us tehre is a good chance israel would be know more. Israel does hold its fair share of blame for all there conflict, but they are only apart of it. If people stopped trying to kill them, I bet you they would stop trying to kill the others.
I wonder if this is a long enough rant yet? I have also come to the conclusion that these worldy things I dont know enough about to make a very good debate for them. I jsut know how I feal about things. This is the end of my post. Scott here, over and out!!!
Crassus Cliffnotes: I dont remember what I said so there arent any... oh and Fuck you all, every one of you!
Posted By:
Lately I have been fealing down, for many reasons. I havent been sleeping well, which causes me to feal down, and fealing down is a reason for me not sleeping well. But I odnt no which came first. Anyway, I am the type of person that plans out alot of things in my mind. Never huge things do I plan out, but say I get someone a gift, something like flowers (taken from what I got someone yesterday) and I have a tendency to walk through my head how I intend to give someone these flowers. Once I get a plan worked out in my mind, and I revice it over and over and that is what I have my mind set on doing, and it dosent happen... Then I have a tendency to get into a depressed mood. Maybe cranky is more the word. I then have a very hard time pulling myself out of these moods. This happened yesterday, and I feal bad for it becasue I ruined the time for those around me becsaue of my bad mood. I just have to learn that things cant always go how I plan, when I do plan something. And lately things never go anywhere remotly how I plan them. THey actually go the exact opposuite. This week it has happened twice, but one of the times I wasm ore than justified to be in a very bad mood and be mad at the other party involved. I wont get into that though, because even though the strife in my life might be entertaining for one or two people it will jut bother me again and maybe make me write some things I dont mean. THe party involved and I have talked about it (kinda) and... Well I dont think we came to any conclusion... Enough of that though.
So lately I have had the itch to get out of my house, and all my attempts have been proven frivilous. I guess I am getting tired of the same routine I have of going to school, work, and spending the rest of my time coped up in my house.
Awhile back that routine wwouldnt of bothered me, but someone whom I care about immensly informed me that she didnt like it. Since I care for her so deeply, i decided to make that minor change in my life. That is something I will do, if there is something minor about me I can change I will mak the attempt to change it in order to accomodate a friend. Going out places instead of being in my house is a very easy change to make, so I made it. THe problem comes where she hasnt realized the change, even though I have been givign suggesions for other thigns to do. When we hang out, it is automatically assumed that we will just hang around my place and watch a movie. Dont get me wrong, I like to do this with her, the only thing I need to see is a smile and I am happy, but right now I would like to get out of the house. Maybe it has just been a bad few weeks for it, which is possible so I dont blame anyone for it. If I had anyone to blame it be myself for not saying what I wanted to do for more than a bried instant. I dont no!
I dont no where I was originally heading with all of this... Lets see what I have talked about... Me geting cranky when my plans dont go through.... changes I make for others.... Needing a change of routine... What else is there to talk about in my life? Hrmmm
There comes a time in a relationship where one has to learn to let go... For me this is very hard to do, I get very attached to people once i allow myself to. This is now somethign i have to do. I have to let it go, for better or for worse. I keep telling myself this, but I dont seem to be doing it. For me I think I got used to having that person to turn to whenever I needed a hug, or a reassurign smile. I have never been a person with alot of confidence when it comes to woman, frankly I have little to know confidence. Being with someone that I find absolutly adorable, and whom I love to spend time with just gives me that littel boost I always need. It makes me happy in ways most people will have trouble understand. I really dont no how to describe it. ::sigh::
ENough of this ranting about my fealing... Its time to rant about somethign in the world!!!
We are having all of this trouble in Iraq, more peopkle are dieing after the 'war' than during the war. In my opinion the Iraqie people started to openly rebel far to quickly for it to truly be all iraqie's. Think about it, if everyone in a country has always been under a goverment that killed you if you spole against it, how would they be revoltign the day we, as american's, 'won' the war? Groups of people from another country (Iran IMO) slipped in there and are really causing all the conflict. Well at least are the main instagators in it. It would not surprise me at all if we have some sort of military action going on in Iran in the near future (that is if we dont now), but it would be covert. This is what I think we should do. We should have one big statement for the world. This statement should be two words that are rather common in the english language. These two words are FUCK YOU! Now after we say this we should pull our forces out of the middle east. Maybe leave a few bases on the outskirts of countries just incase someone attacks us on our homefront. After we do this we should let them fend for themselves. They have been fighting for thousands of years so we might as well let those religious nuts all kill each other! Or if we really want to be the tyrants that these people think we are, we should just drop a few nukes on them. In the long run this will kill us also, but it is only a matter of time before some terrorist group does it to us. (Yes this is what I think is bound to happen). We could even drop one of those bombs that kill everyone, but leave the cities fully intact. Then we can at least find a use for the land.
Another thing in the world news that I find funny. Israel is buildign a huge fence to stop 'terrorists' from coming into there country so easily. I applaud them for this. I know alot of people tend to blame israel for alot of things, in my opinon they arent all there is to blame. We as Americas have lived a VERY safe life, while everyone in israel dont. If you had people constantly tryign to kill you, then you would also react in similar ways. I know Israel wasnt only there, and has only been an establised country for 50 some odd years. I also know that without us tehre is a good chance israel would be know more. Israel does hold its fair share of blame for all there conflict, but they are only apart of it. If people stopped trying to kill them, I bet you they would stop trying to kill the others.
I wonder if this is a long enough rant yet? I have also come to the conclusion that these worldy things I dont know enough about to make a very good debate for them. I jsut know how I feal about things. This is the end of my post. Scott here, over and out!!!
Crassus Cliffnotes: I dont remember what I said so there arent any... oh and Fuck you all, every one of you!
Posted By:
